Emotions: Friend or Foe?

“Emotions make you cry Sometimes” as sung by 90’s R & B Group, H-Town once said. Our emotions can sometimes take on a life of their own. Emotions are instinctive and intuitive feelings an individual possesses usually determined my one’s circumstances, mood or relationships with other people. Emotions were given to humans by God for the purpose of connecting with the world around us.  Unfortunately, unprincipled living and habitual disobedience to God causes our emotions to be out of control, unaligned from their original purposes.

Unaligned Emotions

For a long time, we’ve been told that Emotions are all bad, and you probably have been told to “Get out of your feelings” a time or two (I sure have). But, emotions in and of themselves are not the problem. Unaligned emotions are! 

Unaligned emotions are untrained and uncontrolled. Feelings that are not filtered by truth are deceptive and destructive. They are not only bad, but they are untrustworthy.

Christ was always meant to be the center of our emotions.  However, when we become unaligned, we will put ourselves at the center of our emotions. We make everything about ourselves. We become overly concerned about what we want, and how we want it, even if it causes detriment to others.  

Scripture teaches us “to walk by the Spirit and you will not carryout the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is against the Spirit, and the Spirit desires what is against the flesh; these are opposed to each other, so that you don’t do what you want.” See Galatians 5:16-17.

We Are Emotional Beings

We are creatures of feeling. Our feelings make us more empathetic. Sadly, many have discredited feelings and emotions altogether. Feelings have now become synonymous with weakness, when in fact healthy emotions are a sign of character strength. Truly, our emotions are a gift from God meant to be tools of enrichment. They also help us to connect with those who are hurting, as well as enable us to celebrate with those who are happy. Emotions are meant to be connectors. More importantly, emotions are meant to connect us to GOD, our Creator. Our emotions can either hinder or progress us in our worship of God.

 The more broken we are, the humbler we become. And, the humbler we are, the more grace we receive. God is always seeking those who are poor in spirit, and lowly of heart to do his will. The Spirit of God is more able to flow through us when we have a greater affection for him, and for people. After all, affection is a gentle feelingof fondness or liking according to the Oxford dictionary.

Have you ever noticed you will go out of your way to help the people you love, and care about? Don’t you love to see a smile on the face of someone you helped, who was in dire need of assistance. Well, it’s the same way when you have a genuine affection for Christ. You want him to delight in you, because you love him. You want to do things he asked of you, because you love him. Well, at least that’s how I FEEL about him.

Feelings are apart of the human experience, and when cultivated and expressed properly our love for our neighbors increase. It’s hard to intentionally harm someone you genuinely love, or at least it should be. I think we can all agree the world could use a lot more empathy. Love your neighbor as yourself.

Realigning Your Emotions

As stated earlier, emotions are a gift from GOD. We are absolutely supposed to be concerned about how our actions affect others. We all have a duty to cultivate our own emotional identities, so that we are more emotionally, and spiritually mature. We are to move from the elementary things of God, to the “meatier” matters of the Kingdom. I’m convinced God is annoyed every time someone uses “That’s just the way God made me” to excuse their bad behaviors. God requires that we pursue knowledge and gain understanding. He requires that we grow, and move from glory to glory, from strength to strength.

A key element in realigning your emotions is to become aware and versed in understanding what triggers certain emotions in you and developing a plan of action (as well as praying, prayer is fundamental). You should also know the works of the flesh, which include:

  • Sexual Immorality                    
  • Moral Impurity 
  • Promiscuity
  • Idolatry
  • Dissensions and Factions
  • Envy and Jealousy
  • Strife & Outbursts of Anger
  • Selfish Ambition
  • Drunkenness

If you find yourself engaging in the above continuously and recklessly, then these are good indicators, that your emotional health may be out of alignment. Personally, speaking I found that inner care, and therapy also helped to pinpoint the root causes of many of my destructive patterns.

All I know is we all were created to experience all the abundance life has to offer. But unaligned and stifled emotions block us from truly experiencing the goodness of Christ and keeps us from sharing in his riches.  These riches include:

  • Love
  • Joy
  • Peace
  • Patience
  • Kindness
  • Goodness
  • Faith
  • Gentleness

Emotions with Christ at the center produce Good Fruit! In his presence, there is Liberty, and Fullness of Joy!

“Emotions make you cry sometimes, and they’ll make you fall in love.” H-Town

Single Mom Life: More to Give

If I am being totally honest, Motherhood doesn’t always feel so rewarding. Often, it’s downright frustrating and exhausting! Sometimes, I wish there was someone who would just come and get these children. Then, 20-minutes later, I’d be telling them to bring them back.  It’s all a part of the Bi polarization of being a Mom. 😊

I am a Single mother of three Beautiful teenagers ages 19, 18, & 17 years old. I have two daughters and a Son. Recently, I was blessed with a bonus baby, he’s 17!  Collectively, they are referred to as NAKHIZI, which is a combination of their names. I needed a more efficient way of calling of them at the same time when they were younger. 😊

Today, Single Mother households are at an all-time high.  According to a press release from the US Census Bureau, Of the 11 million families with children under age 18, and no spouse present, the majority are single mothers (8.5 million).

As a single parent, at times I find that I am usually spreading myself thin. Most single mothers operate on a time deficit, usually having to shoulder all the pressures of the home, work and child rearing on their own. This constant time deficit often leads to fatigue, and disillusionment.

I work hard for my family. I get sad when I see how my children must deal with the consequences of my actions. However, I try very hard to shield them from as much harm as I possibly can, but the most effective lesson I have ever taught them has been the power of prayer, and the necessity of saying, “I’m sorry.” Granted, we’re still working on the latter principle. 😊

I can tell you that as their mom, I’ve always desired to give them the best. But I remember God telling me, that our lives didn’t consist of the abundance of things, but rather our lives depend on him and every word that proceeds out of his mouth. Furthermore, Jesus showed me the best thing I could do for my children would be to renew my own mind. If I was going to be a good mom, then I needed to be a Mentally Healthy, and Spiritually Mature mom. And, attaining both states have proven to be a daily, moment to moment task, an ongoing process.

We Need Revelation!

Contemporaneously, it is even more important that we equip ourselves with the spiritual weapons given to us by God to renew our minds.  There are many pressures affecting single parent homes today; including a rise in the cost of living, coupled with an even slower rise in wages, social media personas and peer pressure. These factors make having an intimate relationship with Christ even more of a necessity.  

Christ is a necessity in every family, and for every individual. However, I’m speaking from my own experience presently. As parents, we need discernment, but even more so we need the revelatory gifts of the Holy Spirit! We need to pursue prophecy. Scripture teaches, “Pursue Love and desire spiritual gifts, and above all that you may prophecy.” In my own life, and in my own home, I have experienced the difference the Prophetic has made in our lives. When used correctly, revelatory gifts serve to ground us in our present experience, it makes us more aware of God’s concern for our lives and circumstances. More importantly, it encourages and edifies us.

Equip Your Mind

However, I have not always enjoyed the privileges of having an intimate relationship with Christ. Although, this Grace was always available to me, I didn’t always reach out to receive it. I suffered from anxiety, inferiority, and self-doubt. I lived in a state of habitual sin and lived with a defeated mind full of strongholds. I was unable to hear and receive clear direction from God for my life, let alone for my children’s lives. Such a disservice! I lacked wisdom and understanding. I was broken, and unfulfilled. But that all began to change after my car accident in May 2018. Coincidentally, it was the best thing that happened to me at the time. I began to pray and ask for wisdom in understanding (See James 1:5). God, who gave me wisdom generously began to reveal aspects of my character and identity that were unaligned with his will.

Perhaps, the most significant moments of breakthrough came while scrolling through YouTube and stumbling upon the show, Dreams and Mysteries hosted by John Paul Jackson. In addition, I stumbled across Shawn Bolz, and Dr. Caroline Leaf. All these people were a blessing, and God used their teachings to help equip me. Someday, I’ll speak on all of them, but today I want to tell you about Dr. Caroline Leaf.

 Dr. Caroline Leaf is a communication pathologist and cognitive neuroscientist. Since the early 1980s she has researched the mind-brain connection, the nature of mental health, and the formation of memory. She was one of the first in her field to study how the brain can change (neuroplasticity) with directed mind input.  I was introduced to her when she appeared with Pastor Furtick for a series on Detoxing your Mind. For more information, click the link below. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4wtjJYjl9A&vl=en

From Dr. Leaf’s program, I learned an important and beautiful process of how to practically apply the holy scriptures to my life. Under the leading of the Holy Spirit, I embarked on a 21 Day Brain Detox using the biblical process laid out by Dr. Leaf’s research. It was truly, a God send. It was Transformational! I truly believe that it is our duty to cultivate the gifts God has placed within us. These gifts, Afterall were given for the edification and building up of others, and not just for ourselves. I wanted to be a better mother, because these children are not mine alone, they belong to GOD, Our Heavenly Father. I have a duty to teach them the way to return to the Father, from whom they originally came. In addition, it’s my duty to produce well balanced adults who will be high functioning, contributing members of society.

I felt compelled to share the process God led me on, for we overcome by the word and the power of our testimony. Perhaps, it will help other single mothers identify their calling and purposes in Christ. Perhaps, it will help any individual seeking clarity and purpose. This is my hope and prayer in faith.

So, yes, I’m a Single Mother. And it’s not the most glamorous job, but it is the most rewarding. My Children are GEMS, and at times I get on their nerves. Certainly, they put my nerves to work! 😊 But, after some cool down time and prayer, I realize I wouldn’t trade them for all the riches in the world. They’re mine! I am theirs. Through Christ I realize for NAKHIZI; I still have more to give to them, to the world. A lot More to Give!

If you are interested in embarking on the same 21-Day Brain Detox or for more information about Dr. Leaf’s amazing, and trans-formative research check out the link posted below.


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